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I could make a joke about the irony of the title . . .

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 27 / 40
Date: July 02, 2004
Author: Amazon User

(...)P>I've played some god-awful adventure games in my day, but I've got to say that without a doubt, this is perhaps the most unplayable I've ever attempted to endure. Game of the Year? Best adventure game ever? I'm boggled by the reviews. I'm a world-class cheapskate, and I'll finish any game just to say I got my money's worth, but this thing is just insufferable.

Let's take a look at the blow-by-blow:

1. But it's got gorgeous graphics -- Ok, the scenery's pretty. Know what? So was the scenary in Myst, and that suckers a good 5+ years older than TLJ. And let's keep in mind that when people are raving about the graphics, they're referring to the SCENERY; if it moves in the game (i.e. the characters), then its blocky and clunky. I've seen better quality in full motion video games than the character models in this thing.

2. The voice acting -- Yeah, it's good, which indeed is a rarity these days. I must confess that I found the main character annoying after a while, but the voice acting was certainly top-notch. But what good is voice acting when . . . .

3. They never shut up -- That's right. Never. Never ever. And every time you meet a character, you're going to find these enourmous dialogue trees, with layers on layers of their childhood, their sexual proclivities, their hopes, their dreams, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. And, in true adventure game style, you never know which little bit is going to yield that crucial bit of information that you need to progress the game. So you sit and you listen and you pray for death to come.

4. The story is just lame -- Maybe I just have a chip on my shoulder, but what kind of hippie, new age, gobbledy-gook is this? What was the writer smoking? I'm quite forgiving, particularly in the realm of sci-fi and fantasy, but this thing is just trite and uninspiring. My favorite thing about the game is that it'll put some outlandish rule out there, which normally I'd just accept without thinking, but then they try and EXPLAIN it, and it makes no sense. For example:

* Crazy outlandish rule -- So there needs to be a new Guardian every 1000 years.
* Me -- Gotcha. 1000 years. New Guardian. Check
* Expository character who can't stop rambling -- Oh but there's a good reason for the 1000 year cap: the soul can't be separated from the body for longer than that.
* Me -- HUH?!?!?!

5. It's still all the annoyances of adventure gameplay -- To top it all off, you're still going to be bogged down in the apparently unbreakable rules of an adventure game:
A) If you know what you need, but you can't find it, examine every stinking thing in your inventory 'cause it's probably hidden inside something else
B) If you know you need to use something in a specific way, but it just doesn't seem to work, you probably simply haven't placed the object in PRECISELY the right spot to trigger the action
C) When all else fails, spend half and hour blindly trying to combine items in your inventory, and waving inventory items across the screen. With any luck, you'll stumble across the completely unintuitive Rube-Goldbergian contraption/technique that the game's designers decided was the only possible way to open a window. If you're less lucky, it means you don't have the right item, so go revisit every location and try to pick up everything you can. Once you've got something new, repeat blind inventory combining and/or waving until you're allowed to proceed to the next 20 minute monologue on the Balance and the Disc and the Key which is the Disc which has been broken into four which are the keys of the Disc for the Balance.

(...) I hope so so that I can run out and enjoy that root canal I've been putting off.

Beware before you Buy - NOT WHOLESOME!

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 12 / 69
Date: December 10, 2003
Author: Amazon User

This furturistic tale is neither uplifting nor reflecting of good values. I read previous reviews about it's graphics, which are good however the content is not. It has a lot of profantity and touts adult situations that do not reflect good christian values. If you are a parent don't get this software for your child since it is written as entertainment but is really a reflection of the writers morals, ethics and mindset. I bought this software thinking that it was a good adventure like the kinda kooky Syberia which was actually fun. This is not fun and doesn't reflect wholesomeness. I am offering this review for only those of you who like me would buy this software without knowing before hand that it is NOT for everyone and certainly not for children.

3 bad things about this game after 30 minutes of play

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 16 / 90
Date: November 12, 2004
Author: Amazon User

Instead of being called "The Longest Journey" it should be called "The Longest Install". This 4 disk program was the slowest to install game I've ever seen. It must have took 30 minutes to do a complete install.

Once I started playing, I was shocked at the profanity. It seemed so out of place. The profanity didn't add anything to the gameplay.

The third thing that I didn't like was the Lesbian land lord at the main character's apartment. I didn't want to hear how fulfilled she was with her female lover.

This game looks like just a nice adventure game but it's pushing a hidden agenda.

I've only played this game for about 30 minutes and it has already become obvious that this game is not appropriate for children.

It's too bad that you can't even play a computer game without the [...] agenda being slipped in.

Yak, Yak, Yak!

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 9 / 17
Date: April 04, 2003
Author: Amazon User

I bought this game because of the high rating in PC Gamer. I love to play PC games! Most of the time you spend 'playing' The Longest Journey is spent reading (if you have sub-titles turned on)or listening to the long-winded characters describing the plot. You get to choose from multiple questions to ask, and if you don't ask the right question you can't continue the game; therefore, you have to ask all the questions and listen to the ever-long responses. Yak, Yak, Yak! The other time is spent watching April getting from here to there. The graphic scenery is incredibly beautiful and the voice-acting was the best I've heard. The plot was interesting and so were the characters. "Crow" was my favorite. But I wanted a game to PLAY and something to do - not listen to or watch. Some of the long video-scenes began after the long-winded commentary and you just sat there and watched for what seemes like an eternity. It drove me bonkers! Buy a good book to read or rent a good movie to watch - but for a game with some play value, look elsewhere.

Slow and boring!

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 3 / 27
Date: November 09, 2006
Author: Amazon User

The language in this game is appalling. I don't see the necessity of vulgar language in any kind of computer game. Also, the game is slow and boring. I gave up trying to enjoy it and decided I had just wasted my money. If you are thinking of purchasing this game, don't. There are many more games out there which are more enjoyable.

a HUGE disappointment

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 7 / 21
Date: October 19, 2006
Author: Amazon User

I had high hopes for this game but was severely disappointed. I must have forgotten to look at the rating when I bought it because I ended up throwing the game away after hearing the F-word over 20 times. I also had to go and download a complete walkthrough because I was having such a hard time finding my own way through the game. It would have helped if there were some sort of clear checklist to follow in the game.

the longest journey

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 5 / 27
Date: July 26, 2004
Author: Amazon User

This is a short review. I hated the cussing, I may have been able to get through the whole game if it had not been for that and, blah, blah, blah..........................
blah, blah.

This game..

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 4 / 21
Date: April 11, 2003
Author: Amazon User

....doesn't run with WindowsXP. Folks should know this if they have that OS and are thinking of buying this game. I learned this the hard way. In lieu of zero stars, I'm forced to give it one star, as one cannot post a review without stars.

My suggestion - buy Syberia instead

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 4 / 12
Date: February 03, 2004
Author: Amazon User

I didn't really like this game much. I found it rather too verbose, frustratingly verbose and boring. There is so much mindless blabber to wade your way through, and wade your way through you must as the clues are all in the speech.

But worst of all was the ending which made a complete mockery of the entire quest and left me feeling drained and depressed.

I say forget this game and buy Syberia instead, which I found so much more interesting and fun to play.

Didn't work

1 Rating: 1, Useful: 3 / 13
Date: September 23, 2005
Author: Amazon User

I tried running this game on a PC with Windows XP and it worked, except the graphics were splotchy (for example, her clothing was invisible so all I saw was a head, hands and feet) and the saved games wouldn't load. I can't play the whole thing in one sitting and therefore I haven't gotten past the first hour or so. I emailed the company and looked online for a patch... they never returned my email and there is no patch. The game might be great... but it doesn't look like I'll ever know!!

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